My Review: Preachers of Atlanta

So, out of boredom, the other night I turned on " Preachers of Atlanta.”

First off, I believe that we need to see REAL Christians on T.V. Christians that follow the word of God and who are unwavering.

Christians on TV are not the problem.
Christians who desire to look like the world, to fit into the world, are.

Now, let me state, I am not giving a "review" on the pastors themselves. I know very little about the ones that have appeared on the show.  What I do know is that they were not portrayed in a great light, at all.

1) Meeting People where they are at

One of the Pastors on the show talked about how her ministry handed out cigarettes and condoms.  That caused a huge debate. She stated that it brought members to the church and she was able to meet them where they were at, showing that she cared. So that made me wonder- how do we meet someone where they are at? How do we tell people to come as they are, and that we love and care about them without going against the bible?

We all know what the bible states about having sex outside of marriage, so wouldn’t handing out condoms be promoting the very thing we aren’t supposed to be doing…? Her response? "They are going to have sex regardless, at least this way they are protected." Hmmm... so what happens after they visit, does the church continue to provide condoms and cigarettes? Why is it that people who smoke or have sex can be reached only if we assist them in satiating their vice?

2) Ghetto Praise and Worship

Pastor Canton Jones shared about how he uses hip hop to reach people. He talked about why the traditional gospel isn’t reaching the youth today. Being someone who loves hip hop, when I got saved I did realize that 90 percent of the music I was listening to did not glorify God in the slightest. But that did not stop me from wanting a fast beat and great lyrics.  When I found Lecrae, I was so amazed that hip hop could bring glory to God. I do not disagree that christian hip hop is a great tool to reach others, but what does being "Ghetto" in praise and worship look like? The main line of the song was "I'm so ghetto with my praise and worship"....someone explain that to me please. lol

And also, Christian hip hop shouldn’t be us trying to mirror secular hip hop artists. I am tired of Christians feeling like we have to conform to the world instead of the other way around.

3) Gay Church Leaders

The same pastor who hands out cigarettes and condoms also believes that it is possible for church leaders (Pastors) to be gay. One of the other pastors then stated that his father is a Pastor of a church and is openly gay. My biggest confusion- when they are doing their sermons do they just skip all scriptures about being gay? Are they only preaching the part of the bible they agree with? The preachers were having a round table debate over say about these topics. One stated that if liars, cheaters, and abusers could lead a church then surely a gay person can. My thoughts... they can't! Liars, abusers, etc, should not be leading churches either. Though we know that no pastor is perfect because they are human, it is completely different to acknowledge the fall and repent, than to just live in the lifestyle as though it is pleasing to God.

So my question is, how is it that Jesus was able to walk the earth, lead people to Christ, and display the heart of God without wavering or conforming to the world’s standard.. and why do we feel that in order to lead people we need to forgo bible standards to get them there? I feel like we are minimizing the power of God, and the Holy Spirit by believing that by simply operating with the power of Christ in us that we can’t make a difference.  Jesus didn’t give weapons to the murders or women to the adulterers so that He could minister to them. Jesus was unashamedly different yet, loving and relatable at the same time. He met people where they were at all while being HIM.

Overall...its just seemed like one big MESS. Just another reality show that looked no different from a Love and Hip Hop. etc.  A room full of Pastors who seemed unsure of the power they hold by appearing on TV for millions of people a week. Instead of being a united force that glorifies God, they appear to be doing everything they can to fit into the world, including the drama that is needed to keep a TV show running.

I wont be watching this show again.

Because it is exactly that... A SHOW.

GirlFriends

I have always known the importance of having a good group of girlfriends. But, honestly, that has not always been the strongest group of friends in my life.

For the longest time I took pride in the fact that all my friends were men, as if that was something to brag about.  

It wasn't.

Since being married, my male friends have gone down to very few and even with the ones I still talk to there is a distance (as it should be.) Gone are the days of 4am conversations and getting boyfriend advice from my close male friends.

I am realizing that at times, all you need are a few good girlfriends who understand you, pray for you, and who will keep you in check when you start acting crazy.

Now to keep it all the way transparent, I do have some amazing women in my life. And in 2016 I promised myself that I would no longer create a distance between them and I. I promised myself that I would pray and use discernment and let women be an active part of my life. Not only do I need it, but I have come to want it as well.

So I am making a declaration. 

That I will no longer let past events, or let downs from other women, make me walk in fear with the women that are in my life. That I will be open to hear from them and share withthem. That I will never underestimate how important a good talk and tea is... 

And most importantly I will remember that I can't do life on my own. Even with being married a good girlfriend goes a long way.

While I'm waiting...

I think that all of us have things we are believing God for. No matter how big or small, waiting is a hard process for any of us. I realize that in today’s society we are such a microwave generation that we want it NOW. And to keep it real, I am that way too. 

In the process of waiting it is easy to lose hope, compare, question God or yourself, and ultimately give up. 

So... what do you do while you’re waiting for Gods promises? Since my diagnosis (read about it here), I am slowly but surely learning what it looks like to wait on God in faith, not in fear. 

Below I have listed a few things that I have learned/ do while I am waiting. 

1) Focus on the Promise.

This can be very tricky. Especially when you feel like the promise is so far out of reach. If you’re believing for finances or to be debt free and you are 20,000 in debt it can be difficult to see yourself coming out of that. For me, believing for a child while I hear negative reports from a doctor sometimes clouds my vision of the promise. What did God promise you? Doesn't God keep His promises? These are questions you may have to ask yourself daily in order not to lose the faith. 

2) Surround yourself with the right people. 

This one has been CRUCIAL for me! It is so important that you have people around you who speak life into you, speak God's word, and who will correct you. While you are waiting on God, you don’t need to be surrounded by people who doubt that God is going to do what He said. Occasionally you will have weak days and doubt, and being able to call someone up for prayer, to share your story, send a simple text, etc will be imperative. Your circle of people has more influence than you think. 

3) Continue to study His word.

What better way is there to remember what God says than to keep studying His word? When doubt fills your mind, and all your friends have encouraged you… you will still need to hear it from God Himself. Ultimately even if you do everything else, if you are not praying, reading, and worshiping Him it will be impossible to productively wait on His promise. 

4) Have Fun.

Your life doesn't stop because you are in a waiting phase. Have fun, live, enjoy your life. God already knows what you want (if you’re like me, He hears it daily lol). Some of the best advice I got when I was single was to keep on living. Don't put your life on hold until you get married and don’t trick yourself into believing that life will really start once you get that THING. Don't take life too seriously, what God has for you is for YOU so walk out your calling in the meantime. 

5) Waiting is intentional. 

God does everything for a reason. Yes this statement is thrown around so much that people don't even really believe it anymore. But for me, I have to stand on this. I have to remind myself that if God isn’t giving it to me right away it is for a reason. Even if I don't understand the reason. I also have to remind myself that the waiting period is the time to prepare. Similar to # 4 you have to take advantage of the time you have. In a lot of cases God is trying to show you something or get you to a certain place during this phase. It is wise to be obedient and open your eyes to what you can learn while you are waiting; being in a place of depression and losing your faith WILL NOT speed up this process, believe me, I tried! 

I could go on and on but these top 5 have really helped me on this journey. I have been having a hard time writing after my last blog because I was so transparent and initially I was too embarrassed to share my struggle. As a woman you feel like there are certain things you should just be able to do- having a child is one of them.

While I am waiting I will continue to grow, love, work on my marriage, work on myself, and inspire those around me. Whether you are waiting for a child, husband, job, finances etc... Never forget that God truly does work things out for our good. Be opened minded to what God is doing, and be opened minded to the fact that ultimately this is His timeline. 

I have cried, prayed, and cried again, but I will not give up. I will encourage while I'm waiting. 

What will you do while you are waiting?

Journey to Baby: Part 1

Six months after I got married, I sat in front of a doctor confused with many questions.

“Am I pregnant?”

 “Why have I gained 20 pounds when I have been eating less?”

 Why haven’t I had a period in four months?”

Flashback: Prior to getting married, Josh and I agreed that we would wait a minimum of a year before trying to have a child. We said that we wanted to enjoy it being just us before our house filled with children. Both of us love kids, so there was never any talk about if we did or did not want them. The answer was ALWAYS yes.  We mutually agreed that birth control was the best way to go. I had never been on it before, and I had heard all kinds of horror stories as to why you shouldn’t, but other close friends and family- including my doctor - told me that if it was going to only be for a year, I would be fine.

Shortly after, I started noticing that things were a little weird, but I always contributed them to all the major changes in my life. The stress of being married, being on pills for the first time, etc.

My doctor began to read me what seemed to be a very long list of things that were wrong.

“You don’t ovulate, you have cysts, and your hormones are off.” 

She then told me that she believed I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. (Read more about it here). I had no idea what it was, all I heard was her telling me that I had a ten percent chance of natural conception and that I should get off the pill immediately because if I did conceive it could take years. I remember going home and telling Josh, and without hesitation he agreed I should get off the pill and said “It will be fine babe, we’re gonna have kids.”

I wish I walked in that much faith, but for the first couple of months I immersed myself in Google. I joined Facebook groups with people who had PCOS and it became all consuming. I was trying home remedies, taking supplements etc. To be honest, I was probably making matters worse. Looking back, I should have immersed myself in the Bible, and I should have prayed more.

This blog has been on my heart for months, but I didn’t want to share for many reasons. Mainly, because my story isn’t over yet, I haven’t conceived and I am still fighting against the symptoms of this issue. I told myself, once I got pregnant I would blog about how God did it despite what the doctors said. Eventually I will write that, but for now God is teaching me that the process is as important as the destination.

I already know what God has promised me- He has shown Joshua and I children in our separate and collective prayer times. I have had my pastors and others speak into my life. I can finally say that I am not afraid of my diagnosis. I am excited for the testimony to follow. Every day is not perfect and fear and doubts do rise up. I find it difficult to hear about abortions, or people conceiving children who don’t want them, and sometimes I am sad because I want it to be easy.

I don’t want to go to the doctor every two months, be on a strict diet, take 13 natural pills a day, or deal with the side effects of PCOS. (But oh how worth it, it will be.) I am sharing because I know that I am not the only one with this struggle. Truth is, I have had these issues for a long time but I never noticed them. (1 out of 10 women have PCOS and don’t know it, until they want to conceive)  The birth control did not cause the issue; it simply highlighted what was already there.

Because of the diagnosis I am healthier, I must eat well and stay active to keep my hormone levels normal and my body ovulating. My last doctor visit I went from 10 to 30 percent in my conception rate and it’s only the beginning. We don’t go through things because we are being punished- we go through things so that others can see that even through our struggle we still have faith, serve a perfect God, and hold on to the things He has promised us.

As I said before babies are on their way, and when it does happen I will blog about that…

But until then…

This is my Journey to Baby.

The Love Project: 5 real life stories about love, faith, and overcoming obstacles.

When I decided to write a blog about valentines day, I didn't want to do the typical post. I have told my love story over and over again. Plus, Everyones story is different,each one has its own highs and lows. I also wanted to show that a love story may not be just between a spouse, but with your children, God, or grandchildren. Below are 5 love stories. These amazing people have trusted me to tell there stories and for that I am humbled and grateful. I hope these inspire you as much as they did me. 

 Love Story #1 (SHONTIA & JALON)

Your children will adore you when no one else in the world will. They often look to you for strength and courage.

Shontia knows first-hand about being a rock for her child and the cost of intentionality. Despite taking great care of herself during her pregnancy, her son - Jalon-was medically diagnosed with autism/ADHD at the age of 3. That diagnosis made her feel ashamed as a mother and she questioned God’s love for her. Even more frustration arose when she saw so many other ladies who didn’t take care of themselves have children  that didn’t have special conditions. Her emotions threatened to overtake her, but she fought it vigorously and decided to become educated on the issue, not just for herself, but her son as well.

She says that her son taught her how to love. He broke down her tough exterior, and lone wolf attitude , and helped her realize that it is okay to be vulnerable and have a soft spot. When feelings of being defeated inevitably  start to rise, she asks God to give her the courage she needs to raise a young man. Her need to remain strong for her son causes her to lean on God in an entirely new and  transparent way that she’s ever experienced before. The love story between her and Jalon is an unconditional one: she accepts him for who he is, and does all that she can to make sure he doesn’t feel like he is less than in any capacity.

She wants other single mothers to know that, no matter how difficult your situation is or how alone you feel, always keep God in your heart and in your home. He hasn’t forgotten about you, and He will be the source of your strength when you feel like nothing else is.

Love Story #2(Terrell & Dierra Merritt)

Growing up and figuring out who you are can be difficult, but it is even more difficult when you are going through that process with someone else.

Dierra and Terrell Merritt have been passionately in love with each other for over 10 years. The evolutionary journey from children Into adults didn’t stop them from growing more in love or becoming better friends. It’s worth mentioning that a love that grows with you, against the odds especially, and is fought for daily by both parties is hard to come by. And yes, despite such long-lasting familiarity, they still struggled with learning to adjust in the adult world while maintaining a stable, but growing, relationship. These best friends, husband and wife, and parents of 1 (soon to be 2) found high school love much easier to navigate than “grown up love.” 

  However, becoming parents turned out to greatly strengthen their love for each other. Though some people feel that kids can get in the way or be a burden, they found that watching each other love their daughter changed them in a way that nothing else could. The sacrifice that comes with parenting has taught them to not only appreciate being adults, but to appreciate one another as well.  Family nights keep their love exciting and they find that constant compliments keep things fresh. No matter how busy or hectic their lives are, they intentionally make time for each other. God gives them the strength, and their faith is the glue that holds the relationship together.

Dierra and Terrell’s advice for married couples is communication. Talk to your spouse about everything... even the uncomfortable stuff. Remember that your relationship is your business. Keeping third parties out of the marriage ( with the exception of agreed upon wise counselors) will create a buffer against the drama. They want you to remember that love is hard work, but it is fun, and no matter how long you have been married it should remain that way.

Love Story #3 (Crystal)

Sometimes, true love stories begin with yourself, so that we may love others like Christ loves, without judgment.  

Crystal’s love story is far from perfect, but it shows us that we must forgive ourselves, regardless of our past.

 Ever since she was a young girl, Crystal had struggled with insecurities and during her high school years she wasn’t considered attractive by most of her peers. Finding love and affection was difficult, and when attention was finally thrown her way it was often short lived because she made it clear that sex was not going to be a part of the equation. Feeling very lonely and frustrated she eventually took matters into her own hands and relaxed her standards for being in a relationship. Predictably, the man she settled for often made her feel guilty for not wanting to have sex. This put her in compromising situations, which ultimately led to the temptation having its way. After Crystal gave in, she wound up pregnant shortly after and, after fearfully hiding it for 16 weeks, she decided to get an abortion. 

  That irreversible decision left her feeling ashamed, used, and lonely again because that relationship didn’t last. She struggled with guilt, hurt and post abortion stress syndrome for many years. However, she continued to go to church as though nothing had happened. She felt the need to hide her past, because she believed she would be judged and people would not understand her decision. Yet it was at church where she met a woman who showed her that she was forgiven in God's eyes, and that the next crucial step would be learning how to forgive herself. Over a span of several years she eventually acquired the peace that she was after and released the guilt and burden of loneliness that she’d carried for so many years. She now models forgiveness for herself by showing unconditional love through loving acts of service to others.  

Crystal wants other women who are single, or have similar struggles, to know that it is not a curse or a punishment. This time should be used to learn about, and love, ourselves. It is important know what and who you are before you try to join with someone else.

Love Story # 4 (Troy & Gabbriel Scott)

What is the definition of someone loving you back to life? What does that look like?

Gabbriel and Troy sat in a department store looking through a catalog picking out items that they were going to buy once they got married; at this time they were only 5 and 7 years old. Nobody really thought it would last. Yet even after losing touch for about 10 years, they still randomly ended up reconnecting via his sister in high school. This was a difficult time for Gabbriel, though, who had just underwent an abortion and was suffering from serious depression as a result. The depression spiraled out of control and she found herself trying to put her head in the oven to commit suicide. At that precise moment Troy happened to call her on the phone- distracted, frustrated, and aggravated she answered, and in that exact phone call he led her to the Lord. 

  That was the start of Troy loving Gabbriel back to life. It was no easy task, due to the fact that she was holding onto the piercing pains of her past. They were both from two different walks of life but were exactly what the other one needed. As their relationship grew more intense she got pregnant, and a few days later they were married. They were ostracized from their families, and ended up losing the child. Though that was excruciatingly painful, they now have eight children and five grandchildren. From kissing in the closet of a house as kids to being married now for almost 29 years, they have literally done life together. Becoming parents and grandparents has deepened their love for each other in rippling ways that they could not have imagined; they have become intimately more aware of legacy, and it has helped them work out personal issues much easier.

Gabbriel and Troy believe that it is important to keep things exciting, even if it is just a little getaway in your own house, separate from the noise. They want you to remember that marriage is each person giving their all.  It will be the hardest relationship you will ever enter into but don’t let divorce be an option… EVER.

Love story #5 (Zach & Mesha Harris)

Love understands and forgives.  

 Every woman wants a knight in shining armor and when Zach saved Mesha from a creepy customer at her job he immediately intrigued her. After an hour and a half of conversation she found out that not only was he a gentlemen, but he had a relationship with God as well. He wouldn’t even take her phone number until he found out if she too was a believer. Unfortunately, in a very non-charming fashion, Zach stood her up on their first date. When she angrily confronted him about it as he was calling to apologize, he told her she was drama and that it wasn’t going to work out. However, even over a week later she couldn’t get him off of her mind, and felt that she was missing out on something great. She wanted to meet him again, but having no way to contact him, she made a video on facebook hoping that they had a mutual friend who could connect them. Her efforts worked, he was willing to give it a go once more, and they were on the fast track after that. 

  Their relationship grew quickly, but it was not without exceptional struggle. Within eight months of meeting they moved in together, got pregnant, and shortly after got married. That was five years ago. They now have two children.  Their road has been bumpy; they have gone through financial struggles, addictions, infidelity, and homelessness. Nothing was perfect and everything that could go wrong did, but they both agree that there is nothing they wouldn’t do for each other or for their family and that is what keeps them afloat.

Their advice? Always run to God about everything, and make sure you surround yourself with other married believers who help your fight for your covenant.

Lil Drummer Boy

One of my favorite things to do during this time of year (besides eat every dessert in sight) is to listen to Christmas music. There is something special about having this whole batch of songs that you absolutely love but can only listen to from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. 

My favorite Christmas song is “Lil Drummer Boy" and, in realizing this was my favorite song I thought about the fact that it wasn't at all a “gospel” song, nor was it in the Bible. But what if it was?

  I definitely wish I could be the lil drummer boy (weird I know).  But think about it- this song is talking about a little boy who wants to go see the King and, in realizing that everyone else is bringing gifts, notices that he doesn't have a physical one, but at the same time recognizes that his talent (playing the drums) was one.

“I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum 
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum, 
On my drum? “



It makes me think about how many times I have disqualified myself because my gifts didn’t look like everyone else’s. It also makes me think, that had this been a real story in the Bible, playing the drums would have been the most valuable gift of all. 

I have a deep desire to look around and see that I don’t have what everyone else does, and then don’t use that as an excuse to stop me. Would I have continued to go knowing people were bringing such great things? Would I have recognized the internal gift I possessed? I am not sure. 



“I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum 
Me and my drum.”



My favorite part of the song is when the boy played his best, and the King smiled. Sigh, not quite sure why that makes me so happy. The thought of doing the best I can for Jesus, living my life filled with purpose and making Him smile… well, that’s the point of life isn't it? Riches can be obtained quickly and lost just as fast, but it’s the gifting that God gives us that remains- just like a homeless person can have the best voice you've ever heard in your life. For some people what they have internally is all that they have, and that doesn't diminish it one bit.

So, as I've gotten super deep with a Christmas song (lol) it takes me to a place of worship, reminding myself to remember that Jesus smiles when I bring him my best. When I take my talents and use it to glorify Him, and when I don’t sit on the sidelines because what everyone else is bringing to the table seems lavish. When I worship and pray and do my God calling I am that little drummer boy who just wants to bring him everything I have, no matter how small it is. 

Reaching Out : North Hollywood Train Station

Last night, I was apart of  an outreach with my church. We went to the North Hollywood train station and begin to sing praise and worship songs and pray for people. One thing I noticed when I first got there was how many different churches and organizations were there doing the same thing. It was very interesting to see how people had there different tactics for accomplishing the same task. We were all trying to find the best (and sometimes the most loudest way) to get the love of God out.  

I am not going to lie. I was initially a little uncomfortable. I mean, I am used to doing outreach and I love it, but this seemed different somehow. Everyone [at the station] was on the move and I was certain that the last thing they wanted was somebody being a burden and trying to stop them.

Boy was I WRONG 

I came across so many amazing people last night . People who just wanted to talk, and who wanted to encounter the love of God. Not only did they want it, but they were hungry for it.  It was jaw- dropping how many people just needed intentional, personal contact. You would think that everyone would just shun these strangers coming up to them and asking them if they needed prayer. 

Yes, we got many no's but  the few yeses we got were priceless. There were laughter, tears, and questions. It all just reminded me of one important factor: 

We are made to love people.

We are made to be in relationship. We are made to step out of our comfort zone and do the work of God. Why else would we be here? We are not just being kept around to simply fulfill our life goals and business plans. It is so much bigger than us. As I was leaving I was half humbled and half ashamed, because I realized that I needed to be doing outreach way more often. Not solely organized outreach but also the more in-arms-length reaching out to the people I see on a daily basis; making sure I stay in God's word enough so that when He tells me to go, or speak, all I hear is His voice and will do so without  hesitation.

My final point is this: People NEED you. They need your conversation, your hug, and most importantly they need you to be willing to let God use you and move through you in any and every circumstance. 

Empty Pockets: Buying Into Popularity

Everybody wants to stand behind a well known cause. 

People seem to like the action of teaming up for a greater "good".

Sometimes we have to really look at what it is we are behind. 

We must be careful not to sign our names on the dotted line before we even read the contract. 

Picket signs, T-shirts, and Rallies.

Most of the time, people do not even examine their true thoughts on the cause. They just see that a multitude of people are for it. I agree, there is power in numbers . But if a huge group of people don't fight to push through to make an actual change instead of a trend, it is pointless. What about all the silent issues that never get talked about?  Do they not deserve to have a light shined on them because they aren't a "high profile case" or our favorite celebrities are not backing it ?  

Dewey Bozella. Troy Davis. Marissa Alexander. 

The names of these people are all reasons to riot and cause a scene, yet no one ever did. So what happens next? Does the fight for justice stop when it isn't popular? Do we move on to the next thing without solving the current issues at hand? 

Let me ask you a question, when was the last time you heard someone talk about Trayvon Martin's case and trying to change the laws in Florida? It's no surprise that there are so many issues that don't change . It's not surprising that problems we had twenty years ago are still around today.

When does it end?  When do we stop letting the media open and close cases without there being any real change? When do we realize that even though a shirt may remind people of the cause it doesn't solve the problem?

                                       My prayer is that we all can find something that we are truly passionate about. Doesn't matter if it's talked about daily or if it is a silent issue that needs to be brought to light.

Sex trafficking. Juvenile Justice. Homelessness.

Pick a cause. There are millions swept under the rug daily. Find one you can stand behind and get in agreement with, understanding that no matter how popular it is, you are going to choose to fight for it. 

It is our responsibility to be the change we want to see; not just expect others to do it for us.

Started from the Bottom

Do you know how many times I have almost quit? 

How many times I have thought that this " Jesus" thing was just too hard for me.

There have been so many circumstances where I have been tempted with worldly things and gave in. 

Wrong crowd. Wrongs friends. Wrong men. 

I have thought on multiple occasions that God did not have a specific call for my life. I  found myself just living for years. I had so many people tell me that I was crazy. My standards were too high. This ideal life that I wanted was impossible and unreasonable. 

FLASH FORWARD

Have you ever taken a step back and looked at your life. ? Like really looked. ? Most of the time you will realize that you are operating in answered prayers.  That is something that I have realized I am currently living in. 

God is so faithful.

 I had many lonely days where God was literally talking to me and downloading information. All the wrong crowds that God steered me from. All the times I wanted to go out and be normal, and he would gently nudge me back outside of the "circle". Nothing he does is on accident. Nothing is pointless or without purpose. 

When you are living in the change it is hard to realize how far you have come. Sometimes, we have to take a step back and really look at where we are. 

I did that the other day. It is the most humbling experience ever.  

When you have been praying for years for your family, your life, your spouse and you see it all coming together. When you see Gods hand on every area of your life. There are no words for that. I encourage you to look at your life from the outside. Realize how blessed you are.   

You Started from the bottom and now you are here. This is more than  just a Drake song. It is your life with God. 

Detour to Destiny

   When I was young, I used to play a game with my siblings,one of us would hide an item around the house,while the others closed their eyes. Once their eyes were opened we would guide them around the house calling out "Cold...Warm...Warmer...Hot...Cold" until they found it. It was so simple, but something was so entertaining about the fact that you could be hot, move three inches to the right and then be cold.

   I'm learning that sometimes that is how our road to destiny is. We start walking the path that God has called us to be on and if we are in tune with the Holy Spirit we can hear God telling us that we are going in the right direction. If we are not, we can be hot..and still turn around because  it doesnt look like what we think it should look like. Often times we don't know what our destiny looks like.

How can we possibly find anything if we do not know what we are looking for?

With out listening to God we will roam aimlessly thru life chasing after the next dollar, show, gig, or project. A life without destiny is like getting in your car just to drive.

 Pointless.

We have to come to a firm realization that if God is not driving the car we are soon to go over the edge.

We  must be careful, because the closer we get to our real destiny there will always be that voice saying that we are " cold" and try to nudge us in another direction. Don't give the  devil temporary victory by listening to his voice. Try to waste as little time as possible on the wrong road. God will never send us in a wrong direction and any detour from him is for the greater good.

DETOUR: noun1.a long or roundabout route taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.

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I wish they were THIS excited about Christ.

Last night, i attended an event . It was full of some people with amazing amazing talents. Many were super anointed. About half way thru the show, the dee-jay started playing all these 90's hits, and EVERYONE started to go crazy! Dancing screaming,they completely lost it. At one point i realized that only me and a few other people were sitting down..and i said to myself " I WISH THEY WERE THIS EXCITED ABOUT CHRIST" .
  I Fell like everyday I see people I know(some i don't) and even I myself get really excited over something that is no where near as big as what christ has done for us. I myself am guilty of sometimes not truly remembering everyday all that it is that christ has done for me. Sometimes we only see it in the big things. Like I got into a car accident and wasn't hurt, but how about the little things. How about the time you rode home with a friend who had to many drinks and God  was steering the wheel all the way home,or how about every time you walk from your car to your house late at night and God has angels camped around you as you get to your destination safely. God is in the LITTLE things. The smallest of smallest things. NOTHING should make us as excited as christ. I constantly  have to remind myself of that. When your song comes on the radio and you hop up ready to dance and shout, when you find a 100 dollars on the ground, when that guy/girl you really like finally notices you, when you get that job you have been dreaming of..all of these things can excite us but CHRIST is the basis for all these things, HE SHOULD BE, AND IS  the reason for all our excitement .

My life Behind bars

In prayer, i asked God how my life could help lead people to Christ. How my wrong doings and insecurities could change lives. He simply  told me "tell them how you were set free, better yet tell them how I set you free.

Most people don't know this about me,But I was locked up most of my life. On and off for almost 19 years. Shocking right ? Some would think,that there is a way you can spot an ex-prisoner. But honestly many of us are around them on a daily basis and don't even know it.
 In prison, you have a loss of freedom. A loss of choice. You are kind of just going thru the motions . Hopelessness ,depression,and fear are just a few of the feelings you experience every single day. Imagine,someone having the key to your freedom. Someone telling you that you are so far gone,that your choices have been so bad,that your sin is so great that you don't deserve to be free. Sometimes you are in prison until your time is served and then you get to return back into the world for another chance. But other times you will stay locked up until the day that you die. Never being able to reach your full potential  or destiny.

Each prison bar of my cell  resembled every negative thing in my life. The hurt,the labels the world tried to put on me,The years of feeling worthless. The fear of love. The feeling of never being good enough,pretty enough,strong enough, and smart enough.  They resembled every negative word spoken to me,over me,and about me. They resembled every thing that i spoke over myself. Over the years what was just one bar turned into 5, and before I knew it I was completely locked up. Every where I turned and everything I did, kept reminding me of how short I constantly fell. If you would have asked me to name one good thing about myself or my life..I would not have had an answer for you.

I knew something was missing. I knew there was a God, but didn't know the first clue as to how to have any type of relationship with him. One day i decided that I was going to try to pray, i told the lord that i needed to hear from him,in anyway possible. It was then that i realized that Until you completely make Jesus the lord of your life you will always be a prisoner of sin.  The mental bars that sin puts on your mind are way worse than anything that can happen in the physical. True freedom in Christ has nothing to do with your location. There are people in county jail who will be more free than some of us wondering the earth. True freedom is ONLY found in Christ. So although my body was never in a cell my mind was locked up and sending,Me straight to hell.

It took me, being in complete desperation, in a fight for my life to sit in the last row of my church (in his presence) to completely tell God that I could not do it without him. I told him that I trusted him. That was all he ever wanted. For us to choose him. God doesn't want us imprisoned or enslaved. He doesn't want us hurt and most importantly he doesn't want us spending eternity away from him. We are his children.

I have been completely free since 2010. That doesn't mean that I don't sin,or fall short. It is a daily battle,but one that I am winning since Jesus became the Lord of my life. I've learned the importance of sharing your testimony. That no matter what you have been delivered from there is someone who is going thru the same thing and needs to see that those prison bars do have a key and you won't always be locked up in sin. I wish I could tell you that it was easy,or quick... Can't do that. What I can say is that every tear is worth it.The struggle to stay in the word is worth it. GOD is worth it.

I AM AN EX-PRISONER, I HAVE BEEN SET FREE..and I will spend the rest of my life making sure that people behind bars (mental and physical) know that freedom is an option and with God,it is the only one.