My Review: Preachers of Atlanta

So, out of boredom, the other night I turned on " Preachers of Atlanta.”

First off, I believe that we need to see REAL Christians on T.V. Christians that follow the word of God and who are unwavering.

Christians on TV are not the problem.
Christians who desire to look like the world, to fit into the world, are.

Now, let me state, I am not giving a "review" on the pastors themselves. I know very little about the ones that have appeared on the show.  What I do know is that they were not portrayed in a great light, at all.

1) Meeting People where they are at

One of the Pastors on the show talked about how her ministry handed out cigarettes and condoms.  That caused a huge debate. She stated that it brought members to the church and she was able to meet them where they were at, showing that she cared. So that made me wonder- how do we meet someone where they are at? How do we tell people to come as they are, and that we love and care about them without going against the bible?

We all know what the bible states about having sex outside of marriage, so wouldn’t handing out condoms be promoting the very thing we aren’t supposed to be doing…? Her response? "They are going to have sex regardless, at least this way they are protected." Hmmm... so what happens after they visit, does the church continue to provide condoms and cigarettes? Why is it that people who smoke or have sex can be reached only if we assist them in satiating their vice?

2) Ghetto Praise and Worship

Pastor Canton Jones shared about how he uses hip hop to reach people. He talked about why the traditional gospel isn’t reaching the youth today. Being someone who loves hip hop, when I got saved I did realize that 90 percent of the music I was listening to did not glorify God in the slightest. But that did not stop me from wanting a fast beat and great lyrics.  When I found Lecrae, I was so amazed that hip hop could bring glory to God. I do not disagree that christian hip hop is a great tool to reach others, but what does being "Ghetto" in praise and worship look like? The main line of the song was "I'm so ghetto with my praise and worship"....someone explain that to me please. lol

And also, Christian hip hop shouldn’t be us trying to mirror secular hip hop artists. I am tired of Christians feeling like we have to conform to the world instead of the other way around.

3) Gay Church Leaders

The same pastor who hands out cigarettes and condoms also believes that it is possible for church leaders (Pastors) to be gay. One of the other pastors then stated that his father is a Pastor of a church and is openly gay. My biggest confusion- when they are doing their sermons do they just skip all scriptures about being gay? Are they only preaching the part of the bible they agree with? The preachers were having a round table debate over say about these topics. One stated that if liars, cheaters, and abusers could lead a church then surely a gay person can. My thoughts... they can't! Liars, abusers, etc, should not be leading churches either. Though we know that no pastor is perfect because they are human, it is completely different to acknowledge the fall and repent, than to just live in the lifestyle as though it is pleasing to God.

So my question is, how is it that Jesus was able to walk the earth, lead people to Christ, and display the heart of God without wavering or conforming to the world’s standard.. and why do we feel that in order to lead people we need to forgo bible standards to get them there? I feel like we are minimizing the power of God, and the Holy Spirit by believing that by simply operating with the power of Christ in us that we can’t make a difference.  Jesus didn’t give weapons to the murders or women to the adulterers so that He could minister to them. Jesus was unashamedly different yet, loving and relatable at the same time. He met people where they were at all while being HIM.

Overall...its just seemed like one big MESS. Just another reality show that looked no different from a Love and Hip Hop. etc.  A room full of Pastors who seemed unsure of the power they hold by appearing on TV for millions of people a week. Instead of being a united force that glorifies God, they appear to be doing everything they can to fit into the world, including the drama that is needed to keep a TV show running.

I wont be watching this show again.

Because it is exactly that... A SHOW.

While I'm waiting...

I think that all of us have things we are believing God for. No matter how big or small, waiting is a hard process for any of us. I realize that in today’s society we are such a microwave generation that we want it NOW. And to keep it real, I am that way too. 

In the process of waiting it is easy to lose hope, compare, question God or yourself, and ultimately give up. 

So... what do you do while you’re waiting for Gods promises? Since my diagnosis (read about it here), I am slowly but surely learning what it looks like to wait on God in faith, not in fear. 

Below I have listed a few things that I have learned/ do while I am waiting. 

1) Focus on the Promise.

This can be very tricky. Especially when you feel like the promise is so far out of reach. If you’re believing for finances or to be debt free and you are 20,000 in debt it can be difficult to see yourself coming out of that. For me, believing for a child while I hear negative reports from a doctor sometimes clouds my vision of the promise. What did God promise you? Doesn't God keep His promises? These are questions you may have to ask yourself daily in order not to lose the faith. 

2) Surround yourself with the right people. 

This one has been CRUCIAL for me! It is so important that you have people around you who speak life into you, speak God's word, and who will correct you. While you are waiting on God, you don’t need to be surrounded by people who doubt that God is going to do what He said. Occasionally you will have weak days and doubt, and being able to call someone up for prayer, to share your story, send a simple text, etc will be imperative. Your circle of people has more influence than you think. 

3) Continue to study His word.

What better way is there to remember what God says than to keep studying His word? When doubt fills your mind, and all your friends have encouraged you… you will still need to hear it from God Himself. Ultimately even if you do everything else, if you are not praying, reading, and worshiping Him it will be impossible to productively wait on His promise. 

4) Have Fun.

Your life doesn't stop because you are in a waiting phase. Have fun, live, enjoy your life. God already knows what you want (if you’re like me, He hears it daily lol). Some of the best advice I got when I was single was to keep on living. Don't put your life on hold until you get married and don’t trick yourself into believing that life will really start once you get that THING. Don't take life too seriously, what God has for you is for YOU so walk out your calling in the meantime. 

5) Waiting is intentional. 

God does everything for a reason. Yes this statement is thrown around so much that people don't even really believe it anymore. But for me, I have to stand on this. I have to remind myself that if God isn’t giving it to me right away it is for a reason. Even if I don't understand the reason. I also have to remind myself that the waiting period is the time to prepare. Similar to # 4 you have to take advantage of the time you have. In a lot of cases God is trying to show you something or get you to a certain place during this phase. It is wise to be obedient and open your eyes to what you can learn while you are waiting; being in a place of depression and losing your faith WILL NOT speed up this process, believe me, I tried! 

I could go on and on but these top 5 have really helped me on this journey. I have been having a hard time writing after my last blog because I was so transparent and initially I was too embarrassed to share my struggle. As a woman you feel like there are certain things you should just be able to do- having a child is one of them.

While I am waiting I will continue to grow, love, work on my marriage, work on myself, and inspire those around me. Whether you are waiting for a child, husband, job, finances etc... Never forget that God truly does work things out for our good. Be opened minded to what God is doing, and be opened minded to the fact that ultimately this is His timeline. 

I have cried, prayed, and cried again, but I will not give up. I will encourage while I'm waiting. 

What will you do while you are waiting?

So, Whats next?

In Christ, With Love has reached almost 10,000 views!

I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for reading my blog! I have been occupied with preparing for marriage, and then going through the first year, but I am back now in full force! I am going to be doing weekly updates as well as adding recipes, ask Jess, and devotionals. 

 

Check out some of my most popular blogs below!

Gloves Off : Meet Jessica Belle

 Unsightly Praise

The Love Project: Five stories on love, faith, and overcoming obstacles

#ShineAnyway

Church: Missing the Point 

Lil Drummer Boy

One of my favorite things to do during this time of year (besides eat every dessert in sight) is to listen to Christmas music. There is something special about having this whole batch of songs that you absolutely love but can only listen to from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. 

My favorite Christmas song is “Lil Drummer Boy" and, in realizing this was my favorite song I thought about the fact that it wasn't at all a “gospel” song, nor was it in the Bible. But what if it was?

  I definitely wish I could be the lil drummer boy (weird I know).  But think about it- this song is talking about a little boy who wants to go see the King and, in realizing that everyone else is bringing gifts, notices that he doesn't have a physical one, but at the same time recognizes that his talent (playing the drums) was one.

“I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum 
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum, 
On my drum? “



It makes me think about how many times I have disqualified myself because my gifts didn’t look like everyone else’s. It also makes me think, that had this been a real story in the Bible, playing the drums would have been the most valuable gift of all. 

I have a deep desire to look around and see that I don’t have what everyone else does, and then don’t use that as an excuse to stop me. Would I have continued to go knowing people were bringing such great things? Would I have recognized the internal gift I possessed? I am not sure. 



“I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum 
Me and my drum.”



My favorite part of the song is when the boy played his best, and the King smiled. Sigh, not quite sure why that makes me so happy. The thought of doing the best I can for Jesus, living my life filled with purpose and making Him smile… well, that’s the point of life isn't it? Riches can be obtained quickly and lost just as fast, but it’s the gifting that God gives us that remains- just like a homeless person can have the best voice you've ever heard in your life. For some people what they have internally is all that they have, and that doesn't diminish it one bit.

So, as I've gotten super deep with a Christmas song (lol) it takes me to a place of worship, reminding myself to remember that Jesus smiles when I bring him my best. When I take my talents and use it to glorify Him, and when I don’t sit on the sidelines because what everyone else is bringing to the table seems lavish. When I worship and pray and do my God calling I am that little drummer boy who just wants to bring him everything I have, no matter how small it is. 

Unsightly Praise

My praise isn't pretty. There is no way it can be. God has brought me through so much. He has taken me from a place of complete confusion and desperate times to his light. So, I apologize if I don't praise him the way I should. If I don't raise my hands how the pastor tells me to, or if I at times can not contain myself and I can't "Keep Calm". 

Many of us can go to the concert of our favorite artist and sing until our voices go out. We can wait in lines for hours for the new pair of Jordan's or a video game. And while all those things excite me, and I love music and shoes as much as the next person, there is no way I can have more excitement for any of those things over my GOD. I am just not built that way. I was literally SAVED. Going to hell in a hand basket. Intentionally making decisions that didn't glorify God. I constantly flirted with death. My salvation wasn't cute, neither was my transformation. It is and will always be a confrontation with my flesh, but this time one that I am disarming. I know now that I can no longer compare my praise to others. 

"If you don't know my pain, you can never understand my praise"

I used to feel like something was wrong when I didn't praise how saw other people praise God, if I didn't cry when everyone else was or if I didn't run around the church until I fell out. But I know that my story isn't anyone else's story, my struggle isn't anyone else struggle, and most importantly my relationship with God is not like anyone else's. There is no wrong way to love him, to admire him, and to honor him.

So, please forgive me  for my unsightly praise, or if I can’t control my emotions, but when someone literally saved you from death and brought you into eternal life……… is there  such a thing as thanking them too much?

Empty Pockets: Buying Into Popularity

Everybody wants to stand behind a well known cause. 

People seem to like the action of teaming up for a greater "good".

Sometimes we have to really look at what it is we are behind. 

We must be careful not to sign our names on the dotted line before we even read the contract. 

Picket signs, T-shirts, and Rallies.

Most of the time, people do not even examine their true thoughts on the cause. They just see that a multitude of people are for it. I agree, there is power in numbers . But if a huge group of people don't fight to push through to make an actual change instead of a trend, it is pointless. What about all the silent issues that never get talked about?  Do they not deserve to have a light shined on them because they aren't a "high profile case" or our favorite celebrities are not backing it ?  

Dewey Bozella. Troy Davis. Marissa Alexander. 

The names of these people are all reasons to riot and cause a scene, yet no one ever did. So what happens next? Does the fight for justice stop when it isn't popular? Do we move on to the next thing without solving the current issues at hand? 

Let me ask you a question, when was the last time you heard someone talk about Trayvon Martin's case and trying to change the laws in Florida? It's no surprise that there are so many issues that don't change . It's not surprising that problems we had twenty years ago are still around today.

When does it end?  When do we stop letting the media open and close cases without there being any real change? When do we realize that even though a shirt may remind people of the cause it doesn't solve the problem?

                                       My prayer is that we all can find something that we are truly passionate about. Doesn't matter if it's talked about daily or if it is a silent issue that needs to be brought to light.

Sex trafficking. Juvenile Justice. Homelessness.

Pick a cause. There are millions swept under the rug daily. Find one you can stand behind and get in agreement with, understanding that no matter how popular it is, you are going to choose to fight for it. 

It is our responsibility to be the change we want to see; not just expect others to do it for us.

Started from the Bottom

Do you know how many times I have almost quit? 

How many times I have thought that this " Jesus" thing was just too hard for me.

There have been so many circumstances where I have been tempted with worldly things and gave in. 

Wrong crowd. Wrongs friends. Wrong men. 

I have thought on multiple occasions that God did not have a specific call for my life. I  found myself just living for years. I had so many people tell me that I was crazy. My standards were too high. This ideal life that I wanted was impossible and unreasonable. 

FLASH FORWARD

Have you ever taken a step back and looked at your life. ? Like really looked. ? Most of the time you will realize that you are operating in answered prayers.  That is something that I have realized I am currently living in. 

God is so faithful.

 I had many lonely days where God was literally talking to me and downloading information. All the wrong crowds that God steered me from. All the times I wanted to go out and be normal, and he would gently nudge me back outside of the "circle". Nothing he does is on accident. Nothing is pointless or without purpose. 

When you are living in the change it is hard to realize how far you have come. Sometimes, we have to take a step back and really look at where we are. 

I did that the other day. It is the most humbling experience ever.  

When you have been praying for years for your family, your life, your spouse and you see it all coming together. When you see Gods hand on every area of your life. There are no words for that. I encourage you to look at your life from the outside. Realize how blessed you are.   

You Started from the bottom and now you are here. This is more than  just a Drake song. It is your life with God. 

Detour to Destiny

   When I was young, I used to play a game with my siblings,one of us would hide an item around the house,while the others closed their eyes. Once their eyes were opened we would guide them around the house calling out "Cold...Warm...Warmer...Hot...Cold" until they found it. It was so simple, but something was so entertaining about the fact that you could be hot, move three inches to the right and then be cold.

   I'm learning that sometimes that is how our road to destiny is. We start walking the path that God has called us to be on and if we are in tune with the Holy Spirit we can hear God telling us that we are going in the right direction. If we are not, we can be hot..and still turn around because  it doesnt look like what we think it should look like. Often times we don't know what our destiny looks like.

How can we possibly find anything if we do not know what we are looking for?

With out listening to God we will roam aimlessly thru life chasing after the next dollar, show, gig, or project. A life without destiny is like getting in your car just to drive.

 Pointless.

We have to come to a firm realization that if God is not driving the car we are soon to go over the edge.

We  must be careful, because the closer we get to our real destiny there will always be that voice saying that we are " cold" and try to nudge us in another direction. Don't give the  devil temporary victory by listening to his voice. Try to waste as little time as possible on the wrong road. God will never send us in a wrong direction and any detour from him is for the greater good.

DETOUR: noun1.a long or roundabout route taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.

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My life Behind bars

In prayer, i asked God how my life could help lead people to Christ. How my wrong doings and insecurities could change lives. He simply  told me "tell them how you were set free, better yet tell them how I set you free.

Most people don't know this about me,But I was locked up most of my life. On and off for almost 19 years. Shocking right ? Some would think,that there is a way you can spot an ex-prisoner. But honestly many of us are around them on a daily basis and don't even know it.
 In prison, you have a loss of freedom. A loss of choice. You are kind of just going thru the motions . Hopelessness ,depression,and fear are just a few of the feelings you experience every single day. Imagine,someone having the key to your freedom. Someone telling you that you are so far gone,that your choices have been so bad,that your sin is so great that you don't deserve to be free. Sometimes you are in prison until your time is served and then you get to return back into the world for another chance. But other times you will stay locked up until the day that you die. Never being able to reach your full potential  or destiny.

Each prison bar of my cell  resembled every negative thing in my life. The hurt,the labels the world tried to put on me,The years of feeling worthless. The fear of love. The feeling of never being good enough,pretty enough,strong enough, and smart enough.  They resembled every negative word spoken to me,over me,and about me. They resembled every thing that i spoke over myself. Over the years what was just one bar turned into 5, and before I knew it I was completely locked up. Every where I turned and everything I did, kept reminding me of how short I constantly fell. If you would have asked me to name one good thing about myself or my life..I would not have had an answer for you.

I knew something was missing. I knew there was a God, but didn't know the first clue as to how to have any type of relationship with him. One day i decided that I was going to try to pray, i told the lord that i needed to hear from him,in anyway possible. It was then that i realized that Until you completely make Jesus the lord of your life you will always be a prisoner of sin.  The mental bars that sin puts on your mind are way worse than anything that can happen in the physical. True freedom in Christ has nothing to do with your location. There are people in county jail who will be more free than some of us wondering the earth. True freedom is ONLY found in Christ. So although my body was never in a cell my mind was locked up and sending,Me straight to hell.

It took me, being in complete desperation, in a fight for my life to sit in the last row of my church (in his presence) to completely tell God that I could not do it without him. I told him that I trusted him. That was all he ever wanted. For us to choose him. God doesn't want us imprisoned or enslaved. He doesn't want us hurt and most importantly he doesn't want us spending eternity away from him. We are his children.

I have been completely free since 2010. That doesn't mean that I don't sin,or fall short. It is a daily battle,but one that I am winning since Jesus became the Lord of my life. I've learned the importance of sharing your testimony. That no matter what you have been delivered from there is someone who is going thru the same thing and needs to see that those prison bars do have a key and you won't always be locked up in sin. I wish I could tell you that it was easy,or quick... Can't do that. What I can say is that every tear is worth it.The struggle to stay in the word is worth it. GOD is worth it.

I AM AN EX-PRISONER, I HAVE BEEN SET FREE..and I will spend the rest of my life making sure that people behind bars (mental and physical) know that freedom is an option and with God,it is the only one.