My Review: Preachers of Atlanta

So, out of boredom, the other night I turned on " Preachers of Atlanta.”

First off, I believe that we need to see REAL Christians on T.V. Christians that follow the word of God and who are unwavering.

Christians on TV are not the problem.
Christians who desire to look like the world, to fit into the world, are.

Now, let me state, I am not giving a "review" on the pastors themselves. I know very little about the ones that have appeared on the show.  What I do know is that they were not portrayed in a great light, at all.

1) Meeting People where they are at

One of the Pastors on the show talked about how her ministry handed out cigarettes and condoms.  That caused a huge debate. She stated that it brought members to the church and she was able to meet them where they were at, showing that she cared. So that made me wonder- how do we meet someone where they are at? How do we tell people to come as they are, and that we love and care about them without going against the bible?

We all know what the bible states about having sex outside of marriage, so wouldn’t handing out condoms be promoting the very thing we aren’t supposed to be doing…? Her response? "They are going to have sex regardless, at least this way they are protected." Hmmm... so what happens after they visit, does the church continue to provide condoms and cigarettes? Why is it that people who smoke or have sex can be reached only if we assist them in satiating their vice?

2) Ghetto Praise and Worship

Pastor Canton Jones shared about how he uses hip hop to reach people. He talked about why the traditional gospel isn’t reaching the youth today. Being someone who loves hip hop, when I got saved I did realize that 90 percent of the music I was listening to did not glorify God in the slightest. But that did not stop me from wanting a fast beat and great lyrics.  When I found Lecrae, I was so amazed that hip hop could bring glory to God. I do not disagree that christian hip hop is a great tool to reach others, but what does being "Ghetto" in praise and worship look like? The main line of the song was "I'm so ghetto with my praise and worship"....someone explain that to me please. lol

And also, Christian hip hop shouldn’t be us trying to mirror secular hip hop artists. I am tired of Christians feeling like we have to conform to the world instead of the other way around.

3) Gay Church Leaders

The same pastor who hands out cigarettes and condoms also believes that it is possible for church leaders (Pastors) to be gay. One of the other pastors then stated that his father is a Pastor of a church and is openly gay. My biggest confusion- when they are doing their sermons do they just skip all scriptures about being gay? Are they only preaching the part of the bible they agree with? The preachers were having a round table debate over say about these topics. One stated that if liars, cheaters, and abusers could lead a church then surely a gay person can. My thoughts... they can't! Liars, abusers, etc, should not be leading churches either. Though we know that no pastor is perfect because they are human, it is completely different to acknowledge the fall and repent, than to just live in the lifestyle as though it is pleasing to God.

So my question is, how is it that Jesus was able to walk the earth, lead people to Christ, and display the heart of God without wavering or conforming to the world’s standard.. and why do we feel that in order to lead people we need to forgo bible standards to get them there? I feel like we are minimizing the power of God, and the Holy Spirit by believing that by simply operating with the power of Christ in us that we can’t make a difference.  Jesus didn’t give weapons to the murders or women to the adulterers so that He could minister to them. Jesus was unashamedly different yet, loving and relatable at the same time. He met people where they were at all while being HIM.

Overall...its just seemed like one big MESS. Just another reality show that looked no different from a Love and Hip Hop. etc.  A room full of Pastors who seemed unsure of the power they hold by appearing on TV for millions of people a week. Instead of being a united force that glorifies God, they appear to be doing everything they can to fit into the world, including the drama that is needed to keep a TV show running.

I wont be watching this show again.

Because it is exactly that... A SHOW.

While I'm waiting...

I think that all of us have things we are believing God for. No matter how big or small, waiting is a hard process for any of us. I realize that in today’s society we are such a microwave generation that we want it NOW. And to keep it real, I am that way too. 

In the process of waiting it is easy to lose hope, compare, question God or yourself, and ultimately give up. 

So... what do you do while you’re waiting for Gods promises? Since my diagnosis (read about it here), I am slowly but surely learning what it looks like to wait on God in faith, not in fear. 

Below I have listed a few things that I have learned/ do while I am waiting. 

1) Focus on the Promise.

This can be very tricky. Especially when you feel like the promise is so far out of reach. If you’re believing for finances or to be debt free and you are 20,000 in debt it can be difficult to see yourself coming out of that. For me, believing for a child while I hear negative reports from a doctor sometimes clouds my vision of the promise. What did God promise you? Doesn't God keep His promises? These are questions you may have to ask yourself daily in order not to lose the faith. 

2) Surround yourself with the right people. 

This one has been CRUCIAL for me! It is so important that you have people around you who speak life into you, speak God's word, and who will correct you. While you are waiting on God, you don’t need to be surrounded by people who doubt that God is going to do what He said. Occasionally you will have weak days and doubt, and being able to call someone up for prayer, to share your story, send a simple text, etc will be imperative. Your circle of people has more influence than you think. 

3) Continue to study His word.

What better way is there to remember what God says than to keep studying His word? When doubt fills your mind, and all your friends have encouraged you… you will still need to hear it from God Himself. Ultimately even if you do everything else, if you are not praying, reading, and worshiping Him it will be impossible to productively wait on His promise. 

4) Have Fun.

Your life doesn't stop because you are in a waiting phase. Have fun, live, enjoy your life. God already knows what you want (if you’re like me, He hears it daily lol). Some of the best advice I got when I was single was to keep on living. Don't put your life on hold until you get married and don’t trick yourself into believing that life will really start once you get that THING. Don't take life too seriously, what God has for you is for YOU so walk out your calling in the meantime. 

5) Waiting is intentional. 

God does everything for a reason. Yes this statement is thrown around so much that people don't even really believe it anymore. But for me, I have to stand on this. I have to remind myself that if God isn’t giving it to me right away it is for a reason. Even if I don't understand the reason. I also have to remind myself that the waiting period is the time to prepare. Similar to # 4 you have to take advantage of the time you have. In a lot of cases God is trying to show you something or get you to a certain place during this phase. It is wise to be obedient and open your eyes to what you can learn while you are waiting; being in a place of depression and losing your faith WILL NOT speed up this process, believe me, I tried! 

I could go on and on but these top 5 have really helped me on this journey. I have been having a hard time writing after my last blog because I was so transparent and initially I was too embarrassed to share my struggle. As a woman you feel like there are certain things you should just be able to do- having a child is one of them.

While I am waiting I will continue to grow, love, work on my marriage, work on myself, and inspire those around me. Whether you are waiting for a child, husband, job, finances etc... Never forget that God truly does work things out for our good. Be opened minded to what God is doing, and be opened minded to the fact that ultimately this is His timeline. 

I have cried, prayed, and cried again, but I will not give up. I will encourage while I'm waiting. 

What will you do while you are waiting?

Journey to Baby: Part 1

Six months after I got married, I sat in front of a doctor confused with many questions.

“Am I pregnant?”

 “Why have I gained 20 pounds when I have been eating less?”

 Why haven’t I had a period in four months?”

Flashback: Prior to getting married, Josh and I agreed that we would wait a minimum of a year before trying to have a child. We said that we wanted to enjoy it being just us before our house filled with children. Both of us love kids, so there was never any talk about if we did or did not want them. The answer was ALWAYS yes.  We mutually agreed that birth control was the best way to go. I had never been on it before, and I had heard all kinds of horror stories as to why you shouldn’t, but other close friends and family- including my doctor - told me that if it was going to only be for a year, I would be fine.

Shortly after, I started noticing that things were a little weird, but I always contributed them to all the major changes in my life. The stress of being married, being on pills for the first time, etc.

My doctor began to read me what seemed to be a very long list of things that were wrong.

“You don’t ovulate, you have cysts, and your hormones are off.” 

She then told me that she believed I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. (Read more about it here). I had no idea what it was, all I heard was her telling me that I had a ten percent chance of natural conception and that I should get off the pill immediately because if I did conceive it could take years. I remember going home and telling Josh, and without hesitation he agreed I should get off the pill and said “It will be fine babe, we’re gonna have kids.”

I wish I walked in that much faith, but for the first couple of months I immersed myself in Google. I joined Facebook groups with people who had PCOS and it became all consuming. I was trying home remedies, taking supplements etc. To be honest, I was probably making matters worse. Looking back, I should have immersed myself in the Bible, and I should have prayed more.

This blog has been on my heart for months, but I didn’t want to share for many reasons. Mainly, because my story isn’t over yet, I haven’t conceived and I am still fighting against the symptoms of this issue. I told myself, once I got pregnant I would blog about how God did it despite what the doctors said. Eventually I will write that, but for now God is teaching me that the process is as important as the destination.

I already know what God has promised me- He has shown Joshua and I children in our separate and collective prayer times. I have had my pastors and others speak into my life. I can finally say that I am not afraid of my diagnosis. I am excited for the testimony to follow. Every day is not perfect and fear and doubts do rise up. I find it difficult to hear about abortions, or people conceiving children who don’t want them, and sometimes I am sad because I want it to be easy.

I don’t want to go to the doctor every two months, be on a strict diet, take 13 natural pills a day, or deal with the side effects of PCOS. (But oh how worth it, it will be.) I am sharing because I know that I am not the only one with this struggle. Truth is, I have had these issues for a long time but I never noticed them. (1 out of 10 women have PCOS and don’t know it, until they want to conceive)  The birth control did not cause the issue; it simply highlighted what was already there.

Because of the diagnosis I am healthier, I must eat well and stay active to keep my hormone levels normal and my body ovulating. My last doctor visit I went from 10 to 30 percent in my conception rate and it’s only the beginning. We don’t go through things because we are being punished- we go through things so that others can see that even through our struggle we still have faith, serve a perfect God, and hold on to the things He has promised us.

As I said before babies are on their way, and when it does happen I will blog about that…

But until then…

This is my Journey to Baby.

That ONE thing.

          If there is one thing I have noticed about my relationship with God, it's that I can be a bit selfish and oblivious at times.

I know that may sound bad or dramatic, or whatever, but it’s the truth.

Many of us have specific things that we are praying for- big things. Children, houses, cars, mates, etc. And sometimes it seems like no matter how hard we pray we are not getting that one big thing.

A lot of times, I have failed to notice that in the process of praying for that one big thing, God is doing a million little things to help it come to pass- many of them that I may not even acknowledge or notice.

When I was single and praying for God to send the right person in my life, (see previous post) it took 5 years for it to happen. I was discouraged and had already made up my mind that it was something I just wasn’t going to have. What I didn’t see was God carefully orchestrating things around me to prepare me for what I had been asking for. People started exiting my life, He started shutting things down, and He even strategically placed me in the same spots as my husband years before we even met. When all these “random” changes started taking place I never stopped to think, why are all these things happening? I never noticed that they were all tied together.

In my attempts to be a mature Christian and walk in complete faith I have promised myself that for this next chapter of my life, I am going to pay attention to the little things God does for me. I am going to thank him for the small opportunities, the opened and closed doors, and always listen to that voice that says “yes" or "no” when I am about to do something crazy.

I am learning that really believing and trusting God is not only when we have these HUGE acts of God on the line, but also in the daily little things that slowly but surely gets us on the right track to receive our blessing.

Lil Drummer Boy

One of my favorite things to do during this time of year (besides eat every dessert in sight) is to listen to Christmas music. There is something special about having this whole batch of songs that you absolutely love but can only listen to from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. 

My favorite Christmas song is “Lil Drummer Boy" and, in realizing this was my favorite song I thought about the fact that it wasn't at all a “gospel” song, nor was it in the Bible. But what if it was?

  I definitely wish I could be the lil drummer boy (weird I know).  But think about it- this song is talking about a little boy who wants to go see the King and, in realizing that everyone else is bringing gifts, notices that he doesn't have a physical one, but at the same time recognizes that his talent (playing the drums) was one.

“I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum 
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum, 
On my drum? “



It makes me think about how many times I have disqualified myself because my gifts didn’t look like everyone else’s. It also makes me think, that had this been a real story in the Bible, playing the drums would have been the most valuable gift of all. 

I have a deep desire to look around and see that I don’t have what everyone else does, and then don’t use that as an excuse to stop me. Would I have continued to go knowing people were bringing such great things? Would I have recognized the internal gift I possessed? I am not sure. 



“I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum 
Me and my drum.”



My favorite part of the song is when the boy played his best, and the King smiled. Sigh, not quite sure why that makes me so happy. The thought of doing the best I can for Jesus, living my life filled with purpose and making Him smile… well, that’s the point of life isn't it? Riches can be obtained quickly and lost just as fast, but it’s the gifting that God gives us that remains- just like a homeless person can have the best voice you've ever heard in your life. For some people what they have internally is all that they have, and that doesn't diminish it one bit.

So, as I've gotten super deep with a Christmas song (lol) it takes me to a place of worship, reminding myself to remember that Jesus smiles when I bring him my best. When I take my talents and use it to glorify Him, and when I don’t sit on the sidelines because what everyone else is bringing to the table seems lavish. When I worship and pray and do my God calling I am that little drummer boy who just wants to bring him everything I have, no matter how small it is. 

Unsightly Praise

My praise isn't pretty. There is no way it can be. God has brought me through so much. He has taken me from a place of complete confusion and desperate times to his light. So, I apologize if I don't praise him the way I should. If I don't raise my hands how the pastor tells me to, or if I at times can not contain myself and I can't "Keep Calm". 

Many of us can go to the concert of our favorite artist and sing until our voices go out. We can wait in lines for hours for the new pair of Jordan's or a video game. And while all those things excite me, and I love music and shoes as much as the next person, there is no way I can have more excitement for any of those things over my GOD. I am just not built that way. I was literally SAVED. Going to hell in a hand basket. Intentionally making decisions that didn't glorify God. I constantly flirted with death. My salvation wasn't cute, neither was my transformation. It is and will always be a confrontation with my flesh, but this time one that I am disarming. I know now that I can no longer compare my praise to others. 

"If you don't know my pain, you can never understand my praise"

I used to feel like something was wrong when I didn't praise how saw other people praise God, if I didn't cry when everyone else was or if I didn't run around the church until I fell out. But I know that my story isn't anyone else's story, my struggle isn't anyone else struggle, and most importantly my relationship with God is not like anyone else's. There is no wrong way to love him, to admire him, and to honor him.

So, please forgive me  for my unsightly praise, or if I can’t control my emotions, but when someone literally saved you from death and brought you into eternal life……… is there  such a thing as thanking them too much?

Breaking Free: Leaving your comfort zone

Isn’t it amazing what we can get used to?

How we can become so comfortable in a messy or complicated situation.

We are in a season where settling will no longer be okay.

We are in a place, that in order to get where God has truly called us to be, we are going to have to let go of the weights from our past.

Yes. LET.IT.GO.

Like a ball and chain or a brick on our back, so many of us carry old heaviness. Imagine an overweight person losing 100 pounds but willingly still carrying around the extra mass? It wouldn’t make any sense. The same goes for us. We are forgiven of our sins yet we lug around the guilt and shame, as if we are not. God has set us free. He has opened the prison doors and thrown away the key, yet many of us stay in our cells contemplating our crime.

Do not get used to living a guilty life. We all make mistakes. It is a part of existence. The real trick is to use those mistakes to improve, instead of using it as an excuse to stay inside of your box and beat yourself down. It is not acceptable to be insecure, fearful, or trapped in bondage. No matter how we dress it up or how much we have learned to cope, there are some things that God just won’t do in your life as long as you stay where you are. There is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable in the right situation. That is far better that being content in an unhealthy one. 

Empty Pockets: Buying Into Popularity

Everybody wants to stand behind a well known cause. 

People seem to like the action of teaming up for a greater "good".

Sometimes we have to really look at what it is we are behind. 

We must be careful not to sign our names on the dotted line before we even read the contract. 

Picket signs, T-shirts, and Rallies.

Most of the time, people do not even examine their true thoughts on the cause. They just see that a multitude of people are for it. I agree, there is power in numbers . But if a huge group of people don't fight to push through to make an actual change instead of a trend, it is pointless. What about all the silent issues that never get talked about?  Do they not deserve to have a light shined on them because they aren't a "high profile case" or our favorite celebrities are not backing it ?  

Dewey Bozella. Troy Davis. Marissa Alexander. 

The names of these people are all reasons to riot and cause a scene, yet no one ever did. So what happens next? Does the fight for justice stop when it isn't popular? Do we move on to the next thing without solving the current issues at hand? 

Let me ask you a question, when was the last time you heard someone talk about Trayvon Martin's case and trying to change the laws in Florida? It's no surprise that there are so many issues that don't change . It's not surprising that problems we had twenty years ago are still around today.

When does it end?  When do we stop letting the media open and close cases without there being any real change? When do we realize that even though a shirt may remind people of the cause it doesn't solve the problem?

                                       My prayer is that we all can find something that we are truly passionate about. Doesn't matter if it's talked about daily or if it is a silent issue that needs to be brought to light.

Sex trafficking. Juvenile Justice. Homelessness.

Pick a cause. There are millions swept under the rug daily. Find one you can stand behind and get in agreement with, understanding that no matter how popular it is, you are going to choose to fight for it. 

It is our responsibility to be the change we want to see; not just expect others to do it for us.

I wish they were THIS excited about Christ.

Last night, i attended an event . It was full of some people with amazing amazing talents. Many were super anointed. About half way thru the show, the dee-jay started playing all these 90's hits, and EVERYONE started to go crazy! Dancing screaming,they completely lost it. At one point i realized that only me and a few other people were sitting down..and i said to myself " I WISH THEY WERE THIS EXCITED ABOUT CHRIST" .
  I Fell like everyday I see people I know(some i don't) and even I myself get really excited over something that is no where near as big as what christ has done for us. I myself am guilty of sometimes not truly remembering everyday all that it is that christ has done for me. Sometimes we only see it in the big things. Like I got into a car accident and wasn't hurt, but how about the little things. How about the time you rode home with a friend who had to many drinks and God  was steering the wheel all the way home,or how about every time you walk from your car to your house late at night and God has angels camped around you as you get to your destination safely. God is in the LITTLE things. The smallest of smallest things. NOTHING should make us as excited as christ. I constantly  have to remind myself of that. When your song comes on the radio and you hop up ready to dance and shout, when you find a 100 dollars on the ground, when that guy/girl you really like finally notices you, when you get that job you have been dreaming of..all of these things can excite us but CHRIST is the basis for all these things, HE SHOULD BE, AND IS  the reason for all our excitement .