Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Love Project: 5 real life stories about love, faith, and overcoming obstacles.

When I decided to write a blog about valentines day, I didn't want to do the typical post. I have told my love story over and over again. Plus, Everyones story is different,each one has its own highs and lows. I also wanted to show that a love story may not be just between a spouse, but with your children, God, or grandchildren. Below are 5 love stories. These amazing people have trusted me to tell there stories and for that I am humbled and grateful. I hope these inspire you as much as they did me. 

 Love Story #1 (SHONTIA & JALON)

Your children will adore you when no one else in the world will. They often look to you for strength and courage.

Shontia knows first-hand about being a rock for her child and the cost of intentionality. Despite taking great care of herself during her pregnancy, her son - Jalon-was medically diagnosed with autism/ADHD at the age of 3. That diagnosis made her feel ashamed as a mother and she questioned God’s love for her. Even more frustration arose when she saw so many other ladies who didn’t take care of themselves have children  that didn’t have special conditions. Her emotions threatened to overtake her, but she fought it vigorously and decided to become educated on the issue, not just for herself, but her son as well.

She says that her son taught her how to love. He broke down her tough exterior, and lone wolf attitude , and helped her realize that it is okay to be vulnerable and have a soft spot. When feelings of being defeated inevitably  start to rise, she asks God to give her the courage she needs to raise a young man. Her need to remain strong for her son causes her to lean on God in an entirely new and  transparent way that she’s ever experienced before. The love story between her and Jalon is an unconditional one: she accepts him for who he is, and does all that she can to make sure he doesn’t feel like he is less than in any capacity.

She wants other single mothers to know that, no matter how difficult your situation is or how alone you feel, always keep God in your heart and in your home. He hasn’t forgotten about you, and He will be the source of your strength when you feel like nothing else is.

Love Story #2(Terrell & Dierra Merritt)


Growing up and figuring out who you are can be difficult, but it is even more difficult when you are going through that process with someone else.

Dierra and Terrell Merritt have been passionately in love with each other for over 10 years. The evolutionary journey from children Into adults didn’t stop them from growing more in love or becoming better friends. It’s worth mentioning that a love that grows with you, against the odds especially, and is fought for daily by both parties is hard to come by. And yes, despite such long-lasting familiarity, they still struggled with learning to adjust in the adult world while maintaining a stable, but growing, relationship. These best friends, husband and wife, and parents of 1 (soon to be 2) found high school love much easier to navigate than “grown up love.” 

  However, becoming parents turned out to greatly strengthen their love for each other. Though some people feel that kids can get in the way or be a burden, they found that watching each other love their daughter changed them in a way that nothing else could. The sacrifice that comes with parenting has taught them to not only appreciate being adults, but to appreciate one another as well.  Family nights keep their love exciting and they find that constant compliments keep things fresh. No matter how busy or hectic their lives are, they intentionally make time for each other. God gives them the strength, and their faith is the glue that holds the relationship together.

Dierra and Terrell’s advice for married couples is communication. Talk to your spouse about everything... even the uncomfortable stuff. Remember that your relationship is your business. Keeping third parties out of the marriage ( with the exception of agreed upon wise counselors) will create a buffer against the drama. They want you to remember that love is hard work, but it is fun, and no matter how long you have been married it should remain that way.

Love Story #3 (Crystal)

Sometimes, true love stories begin with yourself, so that we may love others like Christ loves, without judgment.  

Crystal’s love story is far from perfect, but it shows us that we must forgive ourselves, regardless of our past.

 Ever since she was a young girl, Crystal had struggled with insecurities and during her high school years she wasn’t considered attractive by most of her peers. Finding love and affection was difficult, and when attention was finally thrown her way it was often short lived because she made it clear that sex was not going to be a part of the equation. Feeling very lonely and frustrated she eventually took matters into her own hands and relaxed her standards for being in a relationship. Predictably, the man she settled for often made her feel guilty for not wanting to have sex. This put her in compromising situations, which ultimately led to the temptation having its way. After Crystal gave in, she wound up pregnant shortly after and, after fearfully hiding it for 16 weeks, she decided to get an abortion. 

  That irreversible decision left her feeling ashamed, used, and lonely again because that relationship didn’t last. She struggled with guilt, hurt and post abortion stress syndrome for many years. However, she continued to go to church as though nothing had happened. She felt the need to hide her past, because she believed she would be judged and people would not understand her decision. Yet it was at church where she met a woman who showed her that she was forgiven in God's eyes, and that the next crucial step would be learning how to forgive herself. Over a span of several years she eventually acquired the peace that she was after and released the guilt and burden of loneliness that she’d carried for so many years. She now models forgiveness for herself by showing unconditional love through loving acts of service to others.  

Crystal wants other women who are single, or have similar struggles, to know that it is not a curse or a punishment. This time should be used to learn about, and love, ourselves. It is important know what and who you are before you try to join with someone else.


Love Story # 4 (Troy & Gabbriel Scott)

What is the definition of someone loving you back to life? What does that look like?

Gabbriel and Troy sat in a department store looking through a catalog picking out items that they were going to buy once they got married; at this time they were only 5 and 7 years old. Nobody really thought it would last. Yet even after losing touch for about 10 years, they still randomly ended up reconnecting via his sister in high school. This was a difficult time for Gabbriel, though, who had just underwent an abortion and was suffering from serious depression as a result. The depression spiraled out of control and she found herself trying to put her head in the oven to commit suicide. At that precise moment Troy happened to call her on the phone- distracted, frustrated, and aggravated she answered, and in that exact phone call he led her to the Lord. 

  That was the start of Troy loving Gabbriel back to life. It was no easy task, due to the fact that she was holding onto the piercing pains of her past. They were both from two different walks of life but were exactly what the other one needed. As their relationship grew more intense she got pregnant, and a few days later they were married. They were ostracized from their families, and ended up losing the child. Though that was excruciatingly painful, they now have eight children and five grandchildren. From kissing in the closet of a house as kids to being married now for almost 29 years, they have literally done life together. Becoming parents and grandparents has deepened their love for each other in rippling ways that they could not have imagined; they have become intimately more aware of legacy, and it has helped them work out personal issues much easier.

Gabbriel and Troy believe that it is important to keep things exciting, even if it is just a little getaway in your own house, separate from the noise. They want you to remember that marriage is each person giving their all.  It will be the hardest relationship you will ever enter into but don’t let divorce be an option… EVER.


Love story #5 (Zach & Mesha Harris)

Love understands and forgives.  

 Every woman wants a knight in shining armor and when Zach saved Mesha from a creepy customer at her job he immediately intrigued her. After an hour and a half of conversation she found out that not only was he a gentlemen, but he had a relationship with God as well. He wouldn’t even take her phone number until he found out if she too was a believer. Unfortunately, in a very non-charming fashion, Zach stood her up on their first date. When she angrily confronted him about it as he was calling to apologize, he told her she was drama and that it wasn’t going to work out. However, even over a week later she couldn’t get him off of her mind, and felt that she was missing out on something great. She wanted to meet him again, but having no way to contact him, she made a video on facebook hoping that they had a mutual friend who could connect them. Her efforts worked, he was willing to give it a go once more, and they were on the fast track after that. 

  Their relationship grew quickly, but it was not without exceptional struggle. Within eight months of meeting they moved in together, got pregnant, and shortly after got married. That was five years ago. They now have two children.  Their road has been bumpy; they have gone through financial struggles, addictions, infidelity, and homelessness. Nothing was perfect and everything that could go wrong did, but they both agree that there is nothing they wouldn’t do for each other or for their family and that is what keeps them afloat.

Their advice? Always run to God about everything, and make sure you surround yourself with other married believers who help your fight for your covenant.







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