Thursday, October 31, 2013

Unsightly Praise


My praise isn't pretty. There is no way it can be. God has brought me through so much. He has taken me from a place of complete confusion and desperate times to his light. So, I apologize if I don't praise him the way I should. If I don't raise my hands how the pastor tells me to, or if I at times can not contain myself and I can't "Keep Calm". 

Many of us can go to the concert of our favorite artist and sing until our voices go out. We can wait in lines for hours for the new pair of Jordan's or a video game. And while all those things excite me, and I love music and shoes as much as the next person, there is no way I can have more excitement for any of those things over my GOD. I am just not built that way. I was literally SAVED. Going to hell in a hand basket. Intentionally making decisions that didn't glorify God. I constantly flirted with death. My salvation wasn't cute, neither was my transformation. It is and will always be a confrontation with my flesh, but this time one that I am disarming. I know now that I can no longer compare my praise to others. 



"If you don't know my pain, you can never understand my praise"

I used to feel like something was wrong when I didn't praise how saw other people praise God, if I didn't cry when everyone else was or if I didn't run around the church until I fell out. But I know that my story isn't anyone else's story, my struggle isn't anyone else struggle, and most importantly my relationship with God is not like anyone else's. There is no wrong way to love him, to admire him, and to honor him.

So, please forgive me  for my unsightly praise, or if I can’t control my emotions, but when someone literally saved you from death and brought you into eternal life……… is there  such a thing as thanking them too much?

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