Everyone has heard the saying, “you are who you surround yourself with, or you are the sum total of your five closest friends”. If I can just be honest I would always roll my eyes whenever I heard anyone say that. I remember thinking “I am my own person” and “ No one else can influence me.” But it wasn’t long until I realized just how true it is that the people you spend your time with are a reflection of you.
When I was in Ministry school I recall talking to someone and debating with them about how we could lead people to God if we only hung out with other believers. When I had this conversation I was only using that point to justify a specific group of people that I wanted to be around even though I had no business doing so. What I was forgetting was that when Jesus hung out with people it was because he was making them better, not because he was leaving them that way.
As I have gotten older, I’ve learned the importance of protecting my circle and my peace. I know its trendy to say "Be my peace", but i know that is something I have to create and have for myself first. I have learned that not every person can speak into your life, and that some people only want to hang out with you because you are on the same level they are. No matter what, when you start separating yourself from the pack there will be someone there point it out, letting everyone know how you think you are “better than them”. And honestly…WHO CARES. In order to help others, a community, a person etc. you need to be equipped with the tools to do so. Sometimes we have to step out of our usual circles and go see that there is more out there. It doesn’t make you better than anyone, it just means you want more, and once you get it.. you can open the door for others to see that there is more for them as well.
BUT Listen…that is not easy! It can be difficult if you are the first one in your circle or family to pave the way. Sometimes you are the person that is creating the way not just walking the road that’s already been paved for you.
One of the hardest things is when you want people to come with you. When you know that God is about to take you to another dimension you don’t want to go alone. In these moments I can only imagine how God feels when we start living a life that is so far beneath the one he has called us to, we start to feel extreme grief. You grieve other people just not getting it and sometimes you want to shake them to get them to wake up. The truth of the matter is, you can not carry the dead weight of people who refuse to change.
Sometimes we naturally separate from people and other times we have to make the conscious decision to take a step back. I remember I used to beg people to stop living a certain way, I would try to show them an alternative way, but they have to want to go and have to be open minded for change. Often times people may need to see someone go be successful first, you may be that person.
One thing I love about being around dreamers and people who want more for themselves is that there is no limit. People who are living the life God called them to live want to see other people be great. And one thing I have learned is that winners surround themselves with other people who are winning, or on their way there.
I don’t mind hanging out with people who don’t have much, but I do mind hanging out with people who are okay with it. I really believe that I am in a season where i have to be around people who want more, whatever that looks like, because the truth of the matter is no matter how “strong” and “ independent” you are, you either change your circle or your circle will change you, and more importantly if you are the different one in your circle you can not be upset when you are perceived to be the same.
The truth of the matter is, you can not be afraid to stand out. You can not hang out with angry people and think you won't become one, you cant hang around people who have a glass have empty mentality and think that you won't also adapt those thought. If you really want to walk in your God calling you have to be willing to remove those things and people that get in the way of that, at any cost.
