I remember talking to a friend while I was going through my divorce. I was sharing with him that I felt like I just needed to move, and that I needed in a change of scenery. He told me, If you decide to move somewhere , make sure you are not running away from yourself”. This stuck with me for a long time, because one of my biggest fears was that I would just carry baggage with me from city to city .
Most people know that my move to Kansas City was because I got an amazing opportunity to really bring change to the community and though this is 100 percent true, I believe God needed to position me in a place where I could truly hear him outside of my comfort zone.
I’m not going to the lie, when I packed up my things almost a year ago I was so scared. Have you ever had that experience where you know you are doing what God called you to do, but you are still terrified because you do not know what is next? That was me.
My move was easy, but the change that took place inside of me was not.
One day, my life just completely changed, and what seemed to be overnight was really something that had been happening for years. Even when you are watching something fall apart you are really never ready for stuff to hit the fan. It so interesting that you think you have an idea of how your life will play out and then it just doesn’t turn out that way. (Thank God)
When I moved to Kansas City I was broken, simply because I didn’t want to acknowledge that some serious healing needed to take place. I knew that I wasn’t “myself” whatever that was, and I had convinced myself that I would move and I would be so caught up in my work and the children I serve that I would just heal over time.
I do not believe that time heals all wounds, God does…community does…love does. Time, and keeping busy are merely a distraction for the work that will have to take place at one point or another. Trust me.
I Feel like people saying that something “changed their life” is such an overused term, but I really can’t think of what other words I would use. When you are walking in a broken season its so easy to stay in a pity party, but between the people I had depending on me and the people I had pouring into me, I just could not stay in that place. I couldn’t afford to.
I am not saying that God would not have blessed me or healed me if I stayed in California. But, what God has done in Kansas City is more than just healed me..he has made me better than I ever was. God used this city and the people in it to completely restore me and I don’t know what that would have looked like anywhere else.
Kansas City has taught me to dream again, whether it is building youth centers, teaching in prisons, creating financial freedom or breaking generational curses, the entire course of my life has changed because I am here.
Of course, there have also been changes that have taken place that I cant quite put into words. My faith has been rocked. My move here has not been without struggle, but God has met me and protected me every step of the way. He has used people, places, and things to bless me. Being here has helped me win the battle of my mind, I have been able to forgive not just other people but myself. I have been reminded that God is good despite circumstances’, I know now more than ever that God is good alone.
I talk about mentorship a lot and the ladies I know who have changed my life. There really are no words for people who see who you are when you can not see it in yourself. Having people who can see through your smile and all your busyness, those people are simply irreplaceable. I fight differently because of them, I see myself differently because of them. God knew what I needed when he brought me here, and I know it's just begun. I now expect for God to move, i no longer beg for it, I walk around looking for it.
Kansas City didn't heal me, but my obedience to come did.
I want to encourage you to move. Maybe you don’t need to move cities, maybe it’s a job, maybe you just need to change the people you associate with, whatever it is, just go. Don’t take the brokenness with you and don’t look back. There are far greater things ahead.
