I think that God and I are in different time zones, I am pretty sure that his watch and mine are not synchronized.
God doesn’t care about your plans or your timeline. God doesn’t care that according to your idea of a perfect life you would have four kids, a house and a million dollars by now. If you don’t catch my drift God doesn’t care that you are “behind”, because are you really?
Lately I have found my self in prayer with God asking him to take a better look at my planner because something is off. “Umm hello God it is me, I don’t know if you forgot but I am almost 31…, here are some of the things I should have by now..”
Says Who?
I have been learning that true maturity in your faith walk is taking the desires of your heart to him, but making sure that you are so intertwined with Christ, that you know any delay or denial is simply for your good. I can not tell you how many praise dances I have ran around a church thanking God for the prayer he did not answer, thanking him for the Job I did not get. I can not tell you how many times I have thanked God for the things I have lost.
I don’t know how God talks to you, but to me he is the loving father that will ever so kindly give me the side eye that will have me get my act together quick. I have been learning so much lately about how important it is to live in the moment and be grateful for what I have. One of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life is thinking that I know myself better than God does. I have had moments where I have gotten so caught up in trying to fulfil my will, that I do not see the miracles in the now. (I could, and will do an entirely separate blog about how God has moved in my life in the last year, but also how it has not been pretty.)
The truth hurts, and its not just when someone says it to you, but its when you are forced to face it within yourself. The pretty story of my life is filled with white outs, erasers, ripped out pages and time line changes ,and boy am I thankful. I don’t want to even imagine what my life would look like if it had gone according to my plan.
I am really in a season where I am letting God be God, and I promise you, if you are in the place where you find yourself trying to take control its going to be one jacked up ride. Take it from me. You know how that old saying goes, “if you want to see God laugh, tell him your plans.” The funny thing is, we can very much end up exactly where we want to be if we let God lead….he knows where we want to go! A different road does not mean no, it means not yet or simply we don’t recognize the road and we assume its not going to get us there. I am learning that I am driving the car but God is the GPS.
If you are waiting for anything or feel stuck, throw out your time line. I could sit here all night and talk about how I was going to have 3 kids by the time I was 25, or I can say how blessed I am that when I do have children I am going to be so much wiser and my children are going to have some amazing people around them . I am not saying that we should not have goals or dreams, in fact that is so important. I have realized that writing out what I’m thankful for, letting God know what I desire and aligning my will to his is far better than asking God to bless my timeline.
God has your back, in a real way. Not in a “Oh girl if you ever need anything give me a call” but in a “ I am fighting for you, I am fighting with you, and this is going to be so much sweeter" kind of way.”
Okay God, I see you!
