As I was talking to my husband last night and this morning about Ferguson, I could see the amount of frustration we both had. We both shared how we wanted to change it. How we wished there was something we could do. How stuck we feel. The biggest thing, however, is that we don’t even know where to begin.
When I first heard about Mike Brown, I immediately thought “not again.” And as days and hours passed and I heard countless stories, and saw countless videos, and blog posts my heart became heavier by the second. I had so many questions. What is really going on here? Does this kind of stuff just “GET” to happen? What’s next?
What about his family? Mike Brown was going to be starting college in just a few days. His future was stolen by the ones who were supposed to protect him. What does a mother feel when she sees the pavement stained with her child’s blood? How does a community not become outraged?
The real issue for me, is that this has become a habit. I have studied these stories and cases. From the well-known ones like Trayvon Martin, to the ones that never see our TV screens, and let's not forget the fact that 4 unarmed black men have been shot by cops in the past week. America has made a clear point….THEY DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT US. I know, I know, I have heard so many people say “Black people kill each other every day.” And yes, sadly that may be true…. but does that justify injustice? Does the law enforcement get a pass because it’s been done before? I will never justify the black on black crimes that take place in so many cities every single day. Clearly, that is an issue. But an even bigger issue is when the protectors abuse their power.
RACE IS NOT A PROBLEM, IT IS THE PROBLEM. There isn't anyone who can honestly tell me that had this had been a young white man gunned down by cops that this whole story wouldn't have played out differently. Maybe the white community wouldn't have rioted and looted. Maybe they wouldn't have had to. And, honestly, I am not even sure about what the appropriate response should have been. Would a peaceful protest have been nice…SURE. But when you are fed up, when you have asked for peace and justice, when the same problems keep coming up…rage is a natural response. If that was your son, brother, or homie…what would be the proper way for you to react...? Just think about that.
The fact that I have a little brother close to Mike Brown's age, I have an African American husband, all of my cousins and most of my family live in Missouri, and at some point God willingly I will bring a son into this world…leaves me in a place of fear. How do I ask my husband to not say anything if he is pulled over? Don’t ask why, don’t move, basically operate in fear and cowardice so that they don’t think you are a threat. How do I tell my future sons why I don’t want them walking around in a hoodie, how at any moment if they look suspicious all of their rights could be taken away? What kind of freedom is this? Pictures have surfaced of police men dressed as if they are going to war, images that look something like out of the third world countries that we go into everyday to try to save. America needs a savior and it needs to be saved in a real way. Not an “oh we will pray for you, but go on about our days long as it isn’t happening in our streets" kind of way. Who is coming to save us?
SO, here we are days later, and with everyone’s opinions, and theories the facts still remain. Another young man lost his life. He was shot 8 times, as his hands were raised in the air begging for his life about to be stolen away from him. A community is outraged, the police officer is being protected, riots are taking place, and President Obama gave a speech that left me less than satisfied with my place as a black American. We don’t need another speech or an investigation that you are going to drop as soon as the riots end. WE NEED REAL CHANGE. What does that look like? I am not sure. Where will I begin, I don’t really know. But I will not and cannot sit back while the media portrays black people as worthless thugs. Our blood is shed, and our children are dying. My heart will not rest. These are the FACTS. This is my problem.
