"Why are you single" is a question I get asked often and I'm not quite sure how to answer it. Sometimes, I want to say "because there are no good men" but..that would be a lie. Other times I'd like to say "I'm just not ready yet"...and there might be some truth in that. But most of the times I give the Cliche Christian answer.."Gods got someone special for me" and though i believe that,I don't believe that it is the reason why a lot of great women are single these days.
I was writing and praying the other night and I really asked myself a few questions.."why am I single?" "What have I been doing in my single-ness that I couldn't be doing if I was in a relationship?" "How have I let God use me in this season of my life? " I realized one thing, we often take our singleness for granted.
After my last relationship I told myself that single was the way to go. Not because I felt that was my calling but simply because I was to hurt to imagine starting new with someone else. When I finally got past the initial sadness of a new breakup I realized that both being single,and being in a relationship are over rated if you are not being used to your full potential in either one.
When you are single your focus is on you. And that can either be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you look at it. Being alone forces you to confront the very depths of your soul. Often times the things we try to mask or hide while being, In a relationship because they are so ugly that our significant other may just run the other way.
Step one of my stages of singleness was Figuring out who I was. Stage two was realizing that God can do mighty things when your focus is just on him. Stage three was getting into prayer so that God could show me what I deserved so that even on the loneliest night, settling would never cross my mind. Stage four was the longest and the hardest..probably because I am still in it. It is the wait. Realizing that even if you desire to be in a relationship your life doesn't stop while you are waiting for it to come to pass. The sun still rises and falls, you still have dreams to accomplish, you still have God plans for your life and those happen whether or not you are single.
God knows what he is doing. Our job is not to run around chasing the man we think is for us, but focus on the calling on our life. If we spend our days figuring out why this person is married,and this person is in a relationship and we are not, it will be so much wasted God time. When that person comes along they will love you because you know who you are. So Allow God to use you in every season. Don't let this season of singleness go to waste. There are things that God can only use you for in this season and your patience and obedience will pay off. Until then enjoy the ride,work on you, become the person you are looking for,be the best daughter,sister,friend you can be until God blesses you with the title of being someone's wife if that is what your heart desires.
