How could I ever love again,how could I start to love again? After you broke me down, its hard to trust that feeling, to fall in love again"
For the longest time I could never define love. I couldn't even give you an example of it. After talking to a few friends I realized that most people have trouble doing so because what they "thought" was love,left them feeling worse than they had ever felt in there life. Though many of us know that God is love, we don't connect that to our personal Lives in a relationship sense. At least I didn't. I knew God loved me, but that didn't change the fact that love had hurt me to my core. It didn't change the fact that love had me crying, drenching my pillow, it didn't change the fact that love didn't love me back.
One night in prayer I realized I was blaming love for things that people did. Love never hurt me..He did. Love never made me cry, He did. I took me a while, but I am now learning how to separate the difference between love , and the person that uses the word. The truth of the matter is..love is used like "hi" and "bye" these days. And the worst part is that it is often used by people who can't even define what it is.
When I was younger when ever I would use a big word my mom would ask me "do you know what that means?" most of the time I didn't and was just using it because I had heard her use it, or someone else. That's how People use love. We say it back cause someone said it first, we say it cause we feel we should..but we never know what it truly means.
Now, I have a clear definition of the word. ( 1 Corinthians 13 ) I can tell you what it looks like (the cross) and I can tell you what it feels like (unconditional). It is because of this that I can love again and open my heart to a person knowing that even if they hurt me Love never changes. One day, I will meet the person who defines Love in there actions,there words,and most importantly there love for God. Until then....it's just me and love.
